Sing to her soul
by kdlovehg
Summary: Katniss lives in her own world that no-one understands. The shunned "idiot girl" yearns to be accepted but her loyalty & forgiveness make her weak. Peeta Mellark is horrified by the secrets his younger step-brother has which unites the two. Tormented he fulfills the role he never thought he could & together, the mute girl & the explorer, discover the truth between love & loyalty.
1. Chapter 1

_Summary: Katniss Everdeen lives in her own world that no-one understands. The shunned "idiot girl" yearns to be accepted but her loyalty and forgiveness may make her weak. Peeta Mellark is horrified by the secrets his younger step-brother has which unites the two. Tormented he fulfills the role he never thought he could and together, the mute girl and the explorer, discover the truth between where and who her love and loyalty lies._

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TW: Mentions of rape.

Peeta's pov

The flame whips side to side burning my wrist each time the heat sips through a gap in the broken glass of the lantern, yet the pain doesn't deter me as I storm through the valley towards the stable. The smell doesn't bother me either as I've grown used to the pungent odour of manure, dead grass and hay all mixed together. The only thing that does is not being able to go about my normal routine where I visit the horses to feed them sugar cubes or simply sit in a corner of a stall with them in peace. My heavy breathing is one of the few ways I show I'm angry and even though I can feel my chest expanding with each inhale, I hear no sound. Silence. The flame seems to burn brighter surrounded by hay and wood that it could thrive off of within moments and the light creates shadows on the walls that cower in fear each time I pass another stall. I grind my teeth to keep myself from shouting and the slight discomfort is overshadowed by the soft scraping sound as they rub against one another. My foot connects with a wooden door with a resounding thud as it flies open, clearing the path for me to see my half-brother lay sprawled on the dusty ground with only his upper back and arms on the hay as if he tried to collapse backwards onto it and missed by a few steps. His head lolls against his shoulder in a common position he ends up in after having indulging in too much alcohol.

I force myself to swallow, almost choking on the curses I hold back. "Wake up brother" I say, my voice diplophonic. "You've done something we've got to talk about".

Gale groans, his head rolling to the other side as he tightens his grasp on a bottle of dark amber liquid. "Come back another night" he grumbles. I glare. It's barely even seven in the evening - far too early for any twenty-year old to be in such a state without a reason.

"I said up Hawthorne". I step further into the small area and put the lantern on the floor, careful to keep it away from any dry hay or wood. The room darkens a shade. "Words are being exchanged around town, accusing you of carrying out some unwarranted roughhousing".

Gale groaned again, waving me off with his free hand. "Talk to me tomorrow".

I grind my teeth again and stoop down, my fingers digging into my thighs to stop me from attacking him. "The Odair lad sought me out today. His Goddaughter's been a victim of a depraved attack from a degenerate. You're pal Marvel claims its you".

He slides his hand down his face and twits his body as though stretching. Of course that would get his attention. My fingers shake with tension. Lies. It could be all lies. I doubt he's even spoken to the girl. Marvel must have seen someone similar in the dark and panicked. Mr Odair can be quite intense when he wants answers. No true son of our fathers would ever force their attentions of a female, especially one as feeble as Katniss Everdeen. It's nonsense - truly. No doubt our wealth's and his looks alone attract attention.

He blinks, clearly unfocused. It if were true he'd have admitted fault right away. That's how we were raised. "Marvel said what?" he sneers. My breathing slows slightly. He doesn't know. He struggles to sit up, using his arms to support himself. "Oh I'm gonna whip that frigging shyster!". My nails pierce through my trousers, stabbing into my flesh. Gracious. Oh, flipping hell. No. No. No. Not him. Anyone but him.

There was no remorse in his voice. Nothing to suggest it was just a break of character.

My nose twitches at the rising burning sensation. "Tell me you didn't do it. For the love of" my voice shakes and I force a breath in, my lips trembling.

"What? Yeah, no I, I didn't do it. Remind me about this tomorrow". His arms give out and he collapses back again.

"Not a damn chance" I growl. "The child's impure and probably terrified. She's not just a commodity to be used and forgotten, you dumb fu-".

"Oh Marvel's just exaggerating Peet. I just had a few too many sips and things happened. It's not unusual anymore".

"So... So you're saying that makes it okay?". I glance over at the lantern, wondering if I should just tip it over and set the place alight. Does anything matter anymore? I huff out a hollow laugh. "The girl's been violated. Come on man! It can't just be about saving us anymore. There's other people I - that you need to care about!" I say, desperation in my voice.

"Well it's not like she'll remember" he grumbles. "They all knew she just wanted a little fun. I was just helping her out".

"What?" I hiss.

"Well look at how she dresses and acts! Nothing conceals anything. She's always unchaperoned. I mean, she's a fool half the time... and ain't they the best" he chuckles to himself. I look over my shoulder. How many times would I be able to beat him with a horsewhip before someone finds us in the morning?

"Oh come on" Gale continues noticing my harsh expression. "You're too nice Peet. The girl's as stupid as she is insane. She didn't say anything was wrong with it".

"Because she can't speak" I growl. He was always a deviant, even as a child - he should've grown out of it - but that was the only good thing about it. It was all for nothing. For fun. Never any serious harm. I guess there's always irony if you look for it. The next breath seems to scrape down my throat. If I'd know sooner, I could've saved the girl the pain. A man's still a boy. The mind's the mind. Nothing really changes.

People in twelve always claimed that despite our situation, we were alike. Friends like our fathers once were. Now I only want to note all the differences. My father taught me to be loving. Even a traitorous employee who tainted his food on my eight birthday couldn't make him forget that. Gale's taught him how to be the predator, and mother - well she taught us to never waste a chance. He clearly took that to heart.

Rape. Who'd have ever thought I'd be connected to that ugly word through my half-brother? Is that why we haven't even called it by what it is? I suppose there was the hope that not saying the word didn't make it seem as bad - but nothing can hide the truth.

"How could you do it? To anyone? To her? You know she didn't stand a chance!" I state standing up to pace back and forth.

"Well she's not a little girl, nor is she helpless". I pause when he tilts his head up, almost unknowingly showing a faint scratch down the side of his neck. Good. If only, she'd dug her nails in deeper.

"And you didn't force her? It's one or the other Hawthorne! People don't attack someone for no reason - you clearly provoked the child".

Sniffling, Gale shoves himself up into a sitting position, adjusts his white shirt - stained with some red dirt from outside - and rests his elbows on his knees as though this is a typical chat before we have a nightcap. I almost hurl myself at him but I don't. I just feel so... defeated. Is this the man I brought up when all three parents were gone? Have I really failed that badly? I pause, my blood curdling.

Does she blame me?

"Well I have to say". I kick at some of the hay. "I'm glad you're father's dead so he can't seem what a vile monster he made".

"Oh listen to yourself. The girl's a moron, she'll get over". We crash against the wall, my arm pinning his throat as he attempts to scratch and hit me. Despite his size, the alcohol has lessened his physical abilities and he hisses as I press deeper into his flesh. My legs almost give out each time he tries to attack. It's like re-enacting the poor girl struggling.

"I could kill you right now" I say trying not to break down, my voice stays quiet as I try not to sob. "And I wouldn't even be ashamed".

"Guess that makes us alike then". I knee him in the stomach, without taking my eyes off of his, as his body curls over itself and then shove him off me. A thud sounds as he hits the wood. The image of Katniss flashes through my mind. I've only seen her from a distance but it was clear that she's frail and helpless - barely a hundred pounds. Just a young girl who visited forests and liked to be alone. I doubt she ever knows the cruelty of what really happened to her. How must her Godparents be thinking? Will they tell her mother?

"I'm done protecting you. I'm done bribing for you're release. If you're hung for this. I'll be waiting for you in the front row". I take two steps back, only just noticing the smash bottle on the floor. "Get out. Go back to the house. Take what you need, then go before I chase you down with the horsewhip".

"Out?" Gale says, flattening his hair. "Where? Peet that's absurd. We live together. We're brothers".

"Barely. And if my father had never died there's no chance you'd even exist". Gale furrows his eyebrows, suddenly sober.

"You don't mean that. Give me another chance man, I'm sorry alright?".

"Out!" I state simply. So frail. So delicate. So hurt.

"For goodness sake, take away my allowance for a bit. Bar me from the brothels. Put me on house arrest. You're supposed to be the rational one! Just don't keep me out".

"Its a shame I don't care anymore".

"Look I'll marry the brat if that makes it better".

My hands clench into fists. "Don't call her that" I growl. "She may be retarded but she sure ain't never going to be as desperate as you". I spin around and leave.

"Where you going?" he calls after me.

"To the Odairs. To try and make amends". I rub a hand across my mouth as I storm out the same way I entered.

I may not be similar to Hawthorne, but at least I have something in common with the girl. After all, we're both fools to have ever trusted him, and in all honesty, maybe that's why I'm seeking her out.

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 ** _Authors note ~ Hi!_** _ **(Loosely based off of the book - Annie's song) I don't own the characters. Rights go to the right people. So this is a bit darker than I usually do and originally, like the book I was going to have a prologue featuring the attack but in all honesty, I didn't feel comfortable writing about it. So hopefully, this is better and whenever its mentioned I'll add it at the start of the chapter.**_

 _ **Hope you guys liked this or we're intrigued at least! Please review and tell me what you think! I love hearing your feedback! Thanks for reading. :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss' pov

My feet slip and I stumble down the brick porch steps and off to the side of them. I huddle into the corner, somewhat hidden by the trunk of an old apple tree, and try to tug the neckline of my mother's favorite light blue frock up higher so I can nuzzle my nose into the rough fabric. The chilly night breeze blows up wisps of my hair, making them dance side to side and I squeak as my cheeks grow colder.

It's safe here. No-one can sneak up behind me and no hands can grab at my waist or wrists without me seeing. No. They'd have to approach me from the front. I'm safe here. No more surprises. I squint, trying to see through my blurred vision and start to scratch at the small spots of dirt that are covering up the small holes in my stockings. I lean against the roots of the tree and rub at my legs. Dirty. Dirty. So very dirty and ugly. I don't want mother to look at me again with those sad blue eyes, nor sweet Annie to worry or Mr Odair to exude anger. Oh no, no, no. I've done nothing wrong, so why do they keep looking at me like that? What did I do?

I wrap my arms around my legs. They'll make me put on my nightgown soon and I'll have to see their faces again - the looks. I sniff, struggling to inhale, or exhale, or do anything. The leaves above me rustle and the moonlight brightens up part of the front garden, making the surrounding area seem just that bit darker. My space behind the tree seems a little threatening with the shadows watching me. Comforting me. I don't like it. Its not really harmless. Is it?

I force in a breath as my arms tremble. A tingle crawls up my spine. No sound. Make no sound, they're listening. The wind will carry it to them. Mother might hear and wake up to flog me so the noise will go away. My head aches and I turn my head from one side to the other. No pain. No licking, not tonight.

There's no-one in front of me, I'm just being silly. I still glance up, just in case the bad man who hurt me finds me again. I squeeze my legs together. I don't want to repeat this morning. I don't want to see his reflection appear beside mine at the lake. I should have left my shawl and run - or climbed - somewhere he couldn't get me. But then mother would've been mad. Stupid Katniss. Stupid, stupid. You couldn't make the bad man go away. Maybe that's they all look at me like that. They're mad I stayed out for too long, but it seemed right at the time. Marvel had been nearby, after all and he meant safety because mama visited his parents all the time. Yet, maybe she shouldn't have. He hadn't been very helpful leaving me alone. Mama would never do that.

I've been tormented before but no-one ever touched me, or hurt me, or even spoke to me. They spoke at me. Until he came along that is. I squeeze my eyes shut and emit a low sound of dislike, just as I did when he came closer, and closer.

That man. I'd seen him before, living in the big house with all the animals. It happened a while ago and I didn't go near him, but he didn't look mean when he was out in the fields riding on a small seal brown horse. So he shouldn't have hurt me. He had no reason to. Yet he could still be lurking somewhere. Don't all bad guys do that? I open my eyes wide. No - I shouldn't close them. They're the only way I'll be able to protect myself from him. If I see him I can run before I do something that makes him made again - even though I can't figure out what I did the first time.

I can still remember his grey eyes, or where they gunmetal? Like mama's and an old friend of her's mixed together. And his laugh! He did that a lot each time I moved.

Some pictures aren't so nice to look at in my mind so I try not to remember them, nor the way my tummy felt torn up. Mama helped bathe me but I still can't wash away his breath from my neck. I couldn't even vomit because that might give her another reason to put me on bed-rest and I can't stand the thought of both of us just lying there. Empty. My head whips to the left and I peer around the tree. There's movement in the darkness. A shadowy outline reveals a man on horseback coming up the pathway to our house. I wait motionless for him to wander by and try to remember how to breathe. Please no. Please. Oh heavens no. Please! Don't let it be him. I knew he'd find me. I should've stayed inside. Mama would've protected me. I push myself back into the corner, trying to embed myself further into the bricks.

The horse slows down when the man's a meter from the steps and the man swings his left leg out of the stirrup and off of the saddle, before hoping down. His suede boots crunch on the ground as he hitches his horse up to a lamppost. Oh the things I have in common with that animal. Both of us trapped.

Dressed in dark green breeches and a grey serge jacket - which covers up a buttoned-up shirt of the same color - the man isn't very easy to recognize, seeing as his face is still hidden by the brim of a fedora. He's tall - taller than me at least - and broad shouldered, similar to that man that hurt me. The only real difference I can tell whilst he's facing away is that he's dressed more casually. Of course he would be. That's how they fool you.

I puff out my cheeks and hold my breath as he strides over to the porch steps, brushing away stray pieces of horsehair that's stuck to his clothing. He pauses at the bottom step and takes a deep breath, his upper body filling out the jacket even more. My cheeks start to ache. The man swats at something under his hat - his hair maybe? - seemingly delaying what he's about to do.

My tears and the lack of light distort my vision. He sweeps off his hat and the slicked back look is as unmistakable as the bottle poking out of his pocket. Panic slices through my thoughts and bounces around inside of my skull. Any plan of remaining hidden vanishes. It's him! I have to get away. But he might see! Oh gosh.

As if he sensed me watching him, he squints, leaning to the side to try to look through some of the light spilling from a window on the opposing side of the porch. His lips move but the words make no sense. After a moment he moves nearer and I release what little air I have left with a quiet gasp. His lips move again in the same way, only this time its easier to understand.

"Hello there?".

"Hello?" he repeats. My nose scrunches up. After everything, that's what he chose to say? The memory of his tight grip on my wrist silences the thought. What I think doesn't matter. He might try to grab me again. I push myself further into the darkness and back, behind the tree trunk into the opposite direction. He reaches for one of the low branches that help camouflage me. No, no, no. I can almost feel his crushing weight and the bruises left seem to pulsate. I try to scream when his hand pieces through the leaves to grab at me, but I can't. He does it again and some of the beautiful leaves flutter and crackle when they fall to the ground and are stepped on by his shoe. I shake my head fiercely and crawl into the bushes and around the corner to the side of the house, the nettles and plants tearing into my exposed flesh. My hairs tugged at, each time it catches on one. It doesn't matter though. I need to get away before he hurts me again. I scramble up when I'm out of view, hoping he can't hear my heavy breathing. I don't care if mother's mad about my dress now that its dirty. Not again. Not today.

Please. Not today.

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 ** _Authors note ~ Hello!_** _ **(Again loosely based off of the book - Annie's song) I don't own the characters. Rights go to the right people. So this is Katniss' pov that slightly references what happened but again I chose not be explicit in regards to that and alas she met our boy for a moment but those pesky shadows. What can you do?**_

 _ **Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed and followed and favorited. Your support keeps me going. :)**_

 _ **Hope you guys liked this or we're intrigued at least! Please review and tell me what you think! I love hearing your feedback! Thanks for reading. :)**_


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